


All We Ever Wanted Was Everything

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 16:38:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1717400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was not a battle, not even a fight. The young Winchester boys had seen battles, had fought many wars. They knew the difference between a fight and this.<br/>This was Sam Winchester lying on a hospital bed, dwarfing its appearance by his sheer size. Laying in a white gown, in the pale sheets that never got dirty, his face a ghost of emotion, this was no battle.<br/>He had already lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Burns My Heart

  
This was not a battle, not even a fight. The young Winchester boys had seen battles, had fought many wars. They knew the difference between a fight and this.

  
This was Sam Winchester lying on a hospital bed, dwarfing its appearance by his sheer size. Laying in a white gown, in the pale sheets that never got dirty, his face a ghost of emotion, this was no battle.

  
He had already lost.

  
…

  
Sunken in eyes and hollowed out cheeks, Sam was wasted, his voice raspy, and could barely speak.

  
Dean held his head between his hands, giving everything he had into not collapsing into himself. He clasped his hands together in prayer but he knew there would be no answer, there never was.

  
“Dean.” A concerned voice came from the door as a trench coated figure entered the room.

  
“He’s dying Cas and I can’t save him.” A human Castiel entered the room cautiously, Dean hadn’t looked up and Castiel feared that if he did, he’d fall apart.

  
“They did an MRI scan and he…he lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree Cas.”

  
Always feeling awkward in these situations all Castiel could way was, “I’m sorry Dean.”

  
And then Dean looked up.

  
Castiel looked quickly away, unable to meet the raw red eyes of Dean Winchester.

  
“They said it’s not long now.”

  
When Cas stepped forward for an embrace, Dean stood and moved to his brothers side.

  
The consistent beep of the heart monitor prompted Dean to stare at it until, after several minutes, calmly walked around Sam’s bed and punch out the screen with his fist.  
Dean pulled away his fist, bits of glass dug into his knuckles.

  
“Dean.” Castiel pushed as much concern and reprimand into his name as possible but Dean didn’t acknowledge him. Instead, he slowly picked out the bits of screen, as he looked at Sam.

  
“Cas would you get me some coffee.” Dean broke his gaze from Sam and looked at Castiel. Without the knowledge of what to do in this situation, Castiel just nodded and walked out of the room, heading for the hospital cafeteria.

  
“Did you just punch my heart monitor?”

  
…

  
“Sam?” Dean moved closer to him, forgetting his hand completely as he gripped the side of Sam’s bed.

  
Sam looked over at his monitor and gave a small grin his lips cracking painfully from dryness, “You did.”

  
“Yeah well the damn thing deserved it.” Dean couldn’t help but feel nauseous at the way his little brothers lips cracked when he smiled, how the promise of a cough was behind every word, and how no matter what he did, he couldn’t save him.

  
“Sam…”

  
“Don’t you dare, Dean.” Sam looked at his brother with a warning glare. “Don’t you dare try and save me, not again. Not this time.”

Dean looked down at the floor in frustration and before he could protest a weak hand grabbed his wrist.

  
“Dean, I’m ready…”

  
…

  
The line for coffee had Castiel shuffling in place, anxious to get back to Sam and Dean.

  
Sam Winchester had gotten sick awhile back, in fact Castiel could remember the exact day, the exact day they found out that Sam had cancer.

  
“Sammy?” Dean called throughout the bunker, quickly moving from one room to the next. Eventually he found Sam, collapsed on the floor of the library, book still in hand.

“Sammy!”

  
Dean rushed over to his brother, checking for a pulse and pulling him into his lap. Sam was barely conscious.

  
Dean called Castiel on his mobile and when he arrived they drove him to the nearest hospital emergency room.

  
Sam was rushed into a room where they did various tests on him while Dean and Cas where made to sit in the waiting area, panic, a good dose of worry, and nauseous eating away at their stomachs.

  
When the Doctor finally came out, he ominously stated that they needed to keep Sam for overnight study and to run more tests.

  
“So you have no idea what’s wrong with him?” Dean asked his voice almost to a hysteric shout.

  
The Doctor re opened the file and sighed.

“We’re not sure but it appears to be a form of brain cancer.”

  
Castiel looked a Dean, whose face had frozen into a blank stare. He did not speak for several hours after, instead he just sat motionless in a plastic chair. When he finally did speak it was almost a whisper,

  
“Not like this.”

  
Castiel walked down the hallway, two cups of coffee in his hands. Each he had tried to make as edible as possible but even as he drank his he was consistently disgusted by the taste.

  
As he made his way back to Sam’s hospital room, he noticed a line of nurses crowded around Sam’s hospital room.

  
Castiel dropped the cups of coffee, spilling their contents onto the floor and pushed past the nurses.

  
“Let me through! Let me through!”

  
When Castiel had finally managed to push through the wall of nurses, he burst into the room.

  
Sam’s doctor and three nurses where standing around Sam’s bed.

  
Castiel moved forward slowly, his whole body shaking as tears started to cascade down his face.

  
On the small hospital bed, Dean Winchester was curled around Sam’s body, Sam’s head tucked into Dean’s chest, sleeping like they had when they were younger. A large shard of glass from the monitor that Dean had broken earlier, was firmly planted into Dean’s chest. Blood soaked the hospital bed and it was clear, even from the distance Castiel was standing at, that neither Winchester was breathing.  



	2. The Particular Sadness of Coffee

  
Castiel lurched from his bed, his breathing erratic and his face soaked in tears. He took a few breaths to steady his heart beat before slowly climbing out of bed. 

  
A television was on somewhere in the bunker and Cas smiled softly, rubbing his face as though he could rub away the nightmare. 

  
He stood suddenly, stretching his arms out before slipping on one of the shirts he had borrowed from Dean. His sweat pants to were borrowed from Sam, which mean both the waist and ankles had to be rolled up several times for them to even fit Castiel.

  
In fact, Cas had been borrowing a lot of things lately. 

  
He alternated between borrowing Sam’s bed and Dean’s every other night. As he left Dean’s room and headed for the kitchen, his feet softly padding on the wooden floors, he thought about going out to buy some more food for the bunker. Everything in the fridge, except perhaps the peanut butter and jelly, had gone bad.

  
When he got to the kitchen, he borrowed one of Sam’s coffee mugs and set about making coffee before turning to the fridge. He pulled out the moldy burger patties and pie’s that he never ate but always bought. 

  
He returned to his coffee and sat in front of the television, which always carried the news, both local and national. 

  
He set down his coffee and picked up his pen and a new notebook, having gone through three already, he set to work taking down notes on possible jobs for Sam and Dean. He then looked through the daily newspaper, and researched on Sam’s laptop for any cases. 

  
When it was around lunch time, Kevin Tran Prophet of the Lord, joined Castiel in front of the television. He shook his head at Cas’s notebook and the way he furiously scrawled jobs across the page.

  
“Cas why are you doing this? Why do you constantly keep food in the fridge for them? Why do you always take down cases for them? They’re dead, Cas. They died six months ago.”

  
At Kevin’s last sentence, Castiel chuckled and put down his pen to look at Kevin.

  
“You know why.”

  
“Cas they’re no-“

  
“Yes, they are.” Castiel nodded in conviction before returning to his notes. “You know as well as I that the Winchester’s don’t stay dead for very long. They’ll come back, I know they will.” He once again paused and looked at Kevin. “Saving People, Hunting Things, the Family Business. They won’t just abandon that.” His voice rose, “They won’t just abandon me!” 

  
Kevin sighed and looked away as once again Castiel, The Angel No More returned to his notes.

  
**_“They’ll come home, I know they will.”_ **

  
**_They’ll come home, I know they will._ **


End file.
